Honesty

Hi there. Since you're reading this I guess you'd like to know whats new in my life. About five minutes ago I went downstairs looking for a snack. Track started on monday and I'm in the typical constant-food-mode again.. but ya gotta love it. I decided on a few oreos (I'll admit.. not the healthiest choice, but I haven't had them in months.. so HA). After choosing oreos and eating one I realized I needed milk.. because, as well all know, milk is a necessity with oreos. I open the fridge and someone left a container of milk with barely anything in it there.. I mean, not even a sip. That really bugs me. Just thought I'll let you know =P. So I went upstairs about a minute ago.. sitting in front of the computer eating oreos, drinking milk from the newly opened carton, and listening to Billy Joel <3. The song "honesty" came on and at first I was focused on other things but as I started to listen to the lyrics I realized how true they really are. And now I'm dedicating this entry to it.. because Billy Joel is definitely blog-worthy, as I'm sure you agree (and if not... c'mon.. he's Billy Joel for pete's sake). Here it goes:

"If you search for tenderness
it isn't hard to find.
You can have the love you need to live.
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind.
It always seems to be so hard to give.

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.

I can always find someone
to say they sympathize.
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.
But I don't want some pretty face
to tell me pretty lies.
All I want is someone to believe. "

> He totally hit the nail on the head with those lyrics.. and they really make you think. Honesty is such a hard quality to find these days. It's rare to actually find a person that is willing to be completely honest and has nothing to hide. Think about it, people lie all the time. It's become a casual thing... part of every day life for some people. Heck, some people even make it their lifestyle. Lets just call this type of lieing: Type A. This isn't true for everyone, but typically if you ask a female how much she weighs she'll either lie about it or shrug off the question. Or think about school, there's always that someone that doesn't do their homework, yet when the teacher asks why they failed to complete the assignment, they decide to fabricate this elaborate excuse as to why they didn't do it. Would it be so bad to just tell the truth? "Mr. Teacher I didn't do my homework because I honestly just didn't have time and I was really tired. Could I possibly hand it in tomorrow? And if not I'm ready to accept the consequences for my actions." Is that really so hard? OR "How much do I weigh? I weigh 115 pounds.. I weigh 130 pounds.. I weigh 267.576 pounds..." It's not difficult. Who cares? Why lie? I just don't really see the point of all the lieing. Maybe its because people have no trust in each other? Want to hide who their true identity? Are ashamed?

The casual almost insignificant lies don't bother me so much, but some people even lie about the important things. I'll call this one Type B: The type I'm referring to are the people that lie to their "best friends," to their families, and to their boyfriends. They lie straight to the faces of the people they say they "care about," when in the reality, the truth would save everyone a lot of pain. What really aggravates me though is that these incessant liars get away with it! They get away with it ALL THE TIME! Maybe they feel like it's okay to perpetually lie to people, but it's not. It is not okay to feign innocence in an attempt to deny your actions. It is not okay to deny talking about your so-called "friend" to the the very person your friend has emotional ties to... especially when confronted directly about it. It is not okay to lie about your relationships with other people, whether that relationship be friendship or something more. It is not okay to betray the very people you say you "love" and then act surprised when they get upset. But above all it is NOT OKAY to play with people's emotions. They are NOT toys. They are real people who can feel happiness and pain just like you do, and hurt just the same, if not worse. Trifling with their emotions is selfish, hurtful, heartless, and WRONG! Painstakingly and resolutely WRONG. By decieving all the time you lose the trust of the people you lie to, and their trust disintegrates like dust in the wind. Being continually untruthful alienates everyone around you and in the end you weave this thick tangled web of lies that will eventually consume and devour you whole.

There is also another type of lieing. This is Type C. This is a more subtle type and I'm sorry to say that although I am not guilty of the ones stated above, I am guily of this one (partially anyway). This type of lieing is more like lieing by omission. You hide how you feel about someone by simply not saying it. Most of the time I'm straightfoward with how I feel about people, especially the people I care about, and that at the moment is still true. However, I'm guilty of hiding my feelings about the people I DON'T care about. With this issue lately, I feel as if I've been hiding behind a mask of silence. Sure I haven't been as smiley and nicey-nice lately, but I haven't actually come out and said it either. It all just seems so fake, and I hate that feeling. To put on this care-free facade on the exterior and feel utterly disgusted on the inside. The reason why I said I'm "partially" guilty is because this subtle type of lieing (which is more with body language than verbally lieing) that I'm afflicted with is a result of an aquaintance with a "Type B" individual. And although I personally want to tell this Type B Liar that they can go to hell, I can't get over the fact that I actually have a conscience. Being too harsh can potentially hurt someone, and although I truly detest this individual, I find myself having enough concern for them as a human being to not want to hurt them. Figure that out... its a bit mind-boggling.

So in conclusion with this blog entry... Billy Joel is a genius and he definitely had it right with those lyrics. Honesty is rare... and admitting to dishonestly is ever rarer. Interesting how one song and the ideas of one person can inspire some creativity of your own, huh?