The Day of Love

Oh Valentine's Day *dramatic sigh* ... love is in the air, cupid is roaming the skies with his angelic wings and fateful arrows. Too bad it doesn't feel like it. Not to be a downer on the whole "day of love" but today feels like any other day of the year. I feel like Valentine's Day has become (or maybe always has been) such a commercial holiday. It's an excuse for the multi-million dollar corporations to make even more money. I've seen Valentine's commercials being advertised for months now and people go out and by chocolates and gifts and jewellery. It's not that I don't like the holiday or am bitter towards it (on the contrary i like seeing couples together on valentine's day) but I don't see why a day has to be dedicated to love. If you truly love someone you shouldn't need a day or an excuse to show someone that you love them or feel pressured to have a "valentine". If you truly love someone then everyday is Valentine's day.

Valentine's day can also be a depressing day for some people, whether they are single or far away from the people they love. Some people hate Valentine's day and feel lonely or unwanted. Just because you aren't part of a "couple" on one day of the year doesn't mean you should feel dejected or unhappy. You shouldn't have to be in love with someone else in order to be happy. First learn to love yourself, and then things fall into place eventually.

"So she had to satisfy herself with the idea of love-loving the loving of things whose existence she didn't care at all about. Love itself became the object of her love. She loved herself in love, she loved loving love, as love loves loving, and was able, in that way, to reconcile herself with a world that fell so short of what she would have hoped for. It was not the world that was the great and saving lie, but her willingness to make it beautiful and fair, to live a once-removed life, in a world once-removed from the one in which everyone else seemed to exist." -Jonathan Safran Foer

With the coming of Valentine's day it's hard for one not to think thoughts like "I wish I was in a relationship" or "what would I be doing right now if I had a boyfriend/girlfriend?" or "Why can't I have that and be happy?" This is just loving the idea of love.. not being in love itself. Days like today just make us want the reassurance of love, to know that someone loves us and that we are wanted and accepted. It's a form of self security. We don't want love itself, just the knowledge that it's there, like new batteries in the flashlight in the emergency kit in the hallway closet.

So if you are in a relationship: enjoy the day with your sweetie, but don't forget that you don't need a special day in order to show your feelings. And if you're single, take this "holiday" with a grain of salt and don't let it get you down. Think of the things you have in your life, the things you have accomplished, and be happy with who you are. There is no one else quite like you... you have your own mind, your own thoughts, and that gives you a freedom that no love is going to bring you. Be happy for who you are and who you will become and look forward to the future. You are truly unique and you don't need a significant other to remind you of that.

Humor Me

I couldn't find any inspiration or interesting topics to write a blog about lately until now. (As you probably know: I like to have a specific theme or idea to write about). I just finished the book "Everything is Illuminated" by Jonathan Safran Foer. I can honestly say that the quotation on the posterior cover of the book is true: This book truly is "BRILLIANT." It's quite possibly the best book I've ever read and I highly recommend reading it. Needless to say, you will probably see quotes from it peppered all over my blog and AIM profile in the near future.

"I used to think that humor was the only way to appreciate how wonderful and terrible the world is, to celebrate how big life is. You know what I mean? But now I think it's the opposite. Humor is a way of shrinking from that wonderful and terrible world."
-Jonathan Safran Foer

Humor is part of our everyday lives and it's hard to imagine a life without it. Life would seem pretty dull, wouldn't it? People go see comedians at comedy clubs to have a good time, tv shows like family guy are entirely comprised of humor, and humor is even seen at the dinner table when your little brother accidentally flings his mashed potatoes against the wall (... not that that happened or anything). We use humor to lighten the moment or break the ice during awkward situations. We laugh when we're nervous and laughter can also be seen as a way to bring people together. (Just a random thought: Ever watch a sitcom and at the "funny" part just listen to the background of the show? They always have a crowd laughing in the background... as if to tell us we can laugh now. Like we're so stupid that we can't decide for ourselves what is funny and what isn't.)

It is said that the only way to tell a sad story is with humor. In this sense I think that Jonathan Safran Foer is right with what he said. Humor tends to soften the blow of something incredibly tragic. It tends to make light of a situation or make things seem less serious than they actually are. In a way, it enables us to shrink away from the reality of the world. It can act as a tool to shield us from the dreadfulness of the world, but it can also act as a barricade... one that we choose to hide behind.

Many people hide behind their jokes and use humor to get by everyday. Some people are so unsatisfied with themselves that they make jokes about other people in order to feel better about themselves. If someone doesn't understand something, they may make fun of that which they don't understand. If someone is really upset.. they may try to make a joke about it or try to make it seem like they're fine. Then humor, we could say, acts as a form of denial.

I guess that's when sarcasm comes in. And there's a fine line between a healthy amount of sarcastic humor and people who are overly sarcastic. People who are overly sarcastic don't use their sarcasm in a joking/playful manner, but to project an attitude. They lash out at other people with their sarcasm and they can be very bitter people. Take the tv show character Dr. House for instance. Don't get me wrong, House is an incredibly funny character and I adore the show, but he is the prime example of sarcasm. He uses sarcastic jokes all the time, which periodically pisses off his coworkers, but he gets the job done. He, however, is a self-centered miserable person who lives in pain, has no real relationships, lives alone, pries into other people's lives, and has only his sarcasm to turn to in the end. He uses his sarcasm to shut out the world and everyone in it.

Have you ever gotten offended at one of your friends joking around with you? You know what I'm talking about. One of those .. "Oh you got a new haircut? I hope you didn't pay for that... Just kidding" remarks. Okay, well maybe that was a bad example but I'm sure you can think of something better that relates to you more. If it's just a joke than why do we get offended?? Answer: because there is a grain of truth inside of every joke. The problem is that instead of just coming out and saying the truth to someones face, people will just disguise it inside their humor. So I guess the point I was trying to make is that humor is good and bad. It can act as a needed cushion for tragedy but also as a form of cowardice and a way to shrink away from reality.