Semi-charmed Life

I honestly don't know why I'm up writing this late and not sleeping like I should be, but my body is going to hate me in the morning. Not only because of the getting up part... but because of the running part. I finally decided to get up off my lazy butt and be health conscious again. I'll admit the laziness was nice... but it's time to get into running mode again, and I'm already sore (eww). Another thing I've decided is that I'm going to quit starting to read books that don't really catch my interest in the first place. It's getting to be a bad habit. I pick up a book just for the hell of it and then I never finish it. So today I took a little trip to the library and to my disappointment they didn't have many book by Terry Goodkind. Looking for other options I head towards the back wall of the library and turn to go to the next row of shelves... when something caught my eye. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the author "Mercedes Lackey" on a shelf lining the entire back wall. I had been looking for that author previously and couldnt find her but there were close to thirty book written by her. Then I realized that the ENTIRE back wall was all of the fantasy/sci-fi genre. I have been going to that library for YEARS and I have never realized what those shelves had on them. It was like I discovered a hidden treasure trove. It made my day =] ... and yes, I am a nerd =P.

Lately I've been listening to a lot of the old female fronted bands and artists. A lot of Pat Benatar, Heart, the Pretenders... you know. They are just so awesome and their work has made such a breakthrough for women. Their work has helped form a new image for women... one of independence and power. What I love about them is they show that they are talented, that they are powerful, that they can be independent, and they can be feminine all at the same time. Their music is liberating... they rock (especially P.B.). From listening to them, and also a musically talented group of friends that are in a band, I have been inspired. I want to start a band when I'm in college and I want to do the vocals. And in college you have the freedom to do that sort of thing, not to mention talented people to do it with. So that's a new inspiration of mine... I can see it now. The microphones, and the drumset, and a Fender Stratocaster (<3) *sigh* ... one day.

Yesterday I dedicated most of my day to the ongoing college search. Figured it wasn't going to get a move-on by itself. So I sat at the computer and looked at the different aspects of a bunch of colleges. The academics, the location, the music ensembles, the athletics, the tuition, scholarships..... It takes awhile and it's very tedious but I actually found a few colleges that I really like. Now I just have to plan some college visits and keep looking around. So much weight is put on choosing a college and finding the right one. It just takes a bit of time to find one where we will be happy and to find one that meets our expectations. People (whether they are relatives or friends) keep asking me "Where are you going? What do you want to do with your life?" And although those questions can seem somewhat oppressive at some times, they can be enlightening at others. I don't know where I want to go yet, but I have an idea. I don't know what I want to do.. but that's the beauty of it! The possibilities are endless... the freedom to choose whatever inspires you when the time comes. When I was looking at academic stuff and the majors offered I started thinking about different careers. And I saw that what we want changes as we ourselves change. I used to want to be a vet... but I discovered some things about myself since then that make me rethink that option. I'm thinking about careers in music, or songwriting, or broadcasting, or journalism, psychology. I think its about finding something that you love. Something that encompasses your talents and projects a part of yourself into your work. Just finding it can be the difficult part.

"Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs, an uneaten Danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives. I know the idea seems strange, but I also know that it just so happens to be true."-Stranger than Fiction