Pop Culture (props to TB for inspiring me)

Pop culture is responsible for how disillusioned our society is. It is responsible for our warped way of looking at life and the world. And we are at fault for letting ourselves become so deluded by the notions pop-culture presents to us.

Pop culture is, at times, sickeningly optimistic and altogether unrealistic. Why? Because that's what the people want to see. They want adventure, perfection in looks, romance, and happy endings. Nobody wants to see anything as monotonous as "real life." Nobody wants to see average Joe Schmoe as the actor in the movie they are seeing.. they would prefer to see Gerard Butler or Megan Fox (if you are a guy reading this) or someone of equally dashing good looks. Heck, I'm guilty of it too.

But nobody wants to feel depressed by a sad ending, so even the sad endings have an "inspirational" theme. Pop culture, especially romantic comedy films, has turned into Disney for adults. Where the princess falls in love with the prince and they live happily ever after. And worst of all, pop culture has made us believe the possibility of this situation in our own lives. We are just foolish and hopeful enough to gobble this stuff up as fast as we can, like kids anxiously eating their Halloween candy. Its pleasurable at first, but eventually too much makes you feel sick to your stomach.

That's why our society is delusional. I don't meant to sound bitter or cynical, but it's true. From watching these films we obtain such high expectations and standards when it comes to the opposite sex. Usually the main characters of these movies have had some form of bad luck with romance in the past, and when they finally come across the person they will fall in love with, they "just know" that he or she is "the one."

So in turn we adopt this philosophy in our own lives. Just because a relationship seems so much better than other ones we have experienced we assume that this other person must be "the one." Therefore this famous "one" becomes a sort of mythical being. People constantly search for "the one" thinking about what they must be like, compiling checklists of the most sterling qualities they can think up, and in the end its like reading a resume when you date someone instead of seeing what the other person is actually like.

Furthermore, when it doesn't work out we are heartbroken. And the funny thing is... as heart-broken as we are, there is still that delusional hope that we will find that mystical "one," or some of us even continue to believe that the person who broke our hearts is still the "one" we are destined to be with. What ever happened to dating? To seeing what is out there before you make the leap into a relationship? How can people "just know" after a month or so of dating that this other person is the person that they want to spend the rest of their life with? Everything is centered around "fate" and "destiny" and perfect timing. Why?!

Why can't people take relationships for what they are? They are not the perfect, ideal, and altogether magical picture that pop culture paints and hands to us on a silver platter. Everything will not just fall into place. They have to be worked at, and sometimes even working on them wont fix it. Sometimes relationships work out, and sometimes they don't. Why must full grown adults be deluded by the possibility of a fairy-tale?

One Little Moment

Isn't it strange how one little moment can really make your day so much better? You can be having the most awful, stressful, horrible day and a chance event that takes just a couple of seconds can bring you such indescribable bliss that your entire day seems that much better.

I had one of those moments about fifteen minutes ago and it was what inspired this blog. I had been having an awful day. I had Biology lecture at nine o'clock this morning, followed by Chemistry. I've been having a really difficult time with Chemistry lately, so much that I was contemplating dropping out of the course mid-semester. I seriously considering it this morning when a friend of mine told me that in order to keep my scholarship there is a certain credit minimum that I wouldn't have if I dropped the class. The reason I want to drop chemistry in the first place is that it is lowering my GPA and I don't want to lose my scholarship.

After Chemistry I had an hour of Bio recitation. When the hour was up I decided that I just needed a few minutes to relax. So I walked across the academic side of campus until I came across this little courtyard with a field in the center of four lecture Halls. There were some people laying down in the middle of the field and I walked over to a secluded little spot beneath a tree. For those of you that go to Hofstra, it was the tree with the statue of the man reading beneath it. I sat on the side of the tree opposite of the statue and started working on a project.

However I got to thinking about things. I started to think about how as I was writing I must look like the mirror image of that famous statue and I also wondered how many students before me had sat under that very tree, probably thinking the same thing I was. I started wondering what they had been doing, what they were thinking, and what their lives could have been like. And yet, although their lives could have had no similarities to mine... I felt almost as though I was a part of something.

It was beautiful out. Sunny, warm, quiet and peaceful, with just a slight breeze that makes your hair tremble just a bit. Then the tiniest thing happened. As I was writing in my book, a lady bug landed on the sleeve of my shirt. It was so little and curious as it walked on my arm and eventually up to my hand. I just sat there and watched it. Ladybugs are said to be good luck, and maybe it was bringing me a little bit of luck during a pretty lousy day. Maybe it was the universe's way of saying "its okay, cheer up and smile a little." Then after a minute of too the lady bug spread its little wings and flew away into the breeze and went on with it's day.

Little moments like that make you appreciate how beautiful life can really be once you stop worrying about everything you need to get done or about how screwed you are for your next chemistry test. Little moments like that help you escape and to give you a sort of peace that you never imagined could happen from something so simple. I guess I was just very touched and inspired by my "little moment" today and just wanted to tell you this: If you are stressed and tired and having a miserable day that seems like it will never end, just set aside five or ten minutes for yourself. Breathe, relax, and just enjoy the moment and the peace of letting go for a second. You might have a special "little moment" too.

Facebook: Good or Bad?

We live in the day and age of networking sites such as facebook, myspace, and twitter. Personally I've had a facebook page for a few years now but I always toss up the question of whether facebook is a good thing or not. The majority of the people I know also have facebook pages and it seems to have become a craze in the last year or two. Facebook started off as just a networking site for college students to stay in touch after all, and now the users range from jr highschoolers to grandparents!

Facebook can be really great and useful. It allows us to stay in touch with our friends and family members. It also lets us keep in touch with those who have graduated and even help us meet new friends in college. Facebook "notes" can be used as a type of online blog and facebook can even be useful with its "events" and inviting your friends to a party or gathering. Not to mention that it provides us with a plethora of fun applications to amuse ourselves when we are terribly bored with nothing to do. Users can mess around with fun applications such as bumper stickers, flair, mafia wars, graffiti, the endless supply of facebook quizzes we all love... and much much more.

On each facebook profile there is an information section asking for your basic info, personal info, contact info, and education/work info. These are optional, however the general user will fill them in to personalize their profile. My question is: How much information is too much? Where do we draw the line? With this available information on the Internet a mere acquaintance can know your birthday, religious views, favorite music, favorite movies, email address, and who you're friends are with just the click of a mouse. Sometimes I think that too much information on facebook allows others to be too much into each others lives. It enables users to keep tabs on other peoples without them being awake of it. This is where "facebook stalking" begins. Think about it... you get into a huge fight with this catty girl in school and she is constantly checking your profile. Or you have a bad breakup and your ex took it horribly and is constantly seeing what you or up to.

The biggest problem with facebook though, in my opinion is the "statuses." Users can post what they are doing and it will show up on all their friends news feeds, enabling the person who is posting to give a newsflash of anything that happens in any minute of their lives. For example: "Samantha Jones is having the worst day of her life. why me?" Not only is it letting everyone know but its also just asking for attention.

However. the thing that irks me the most is relationship statuses on facebook. This is the only thing that truly links you to another person on facebook... which is fine if you want to be linked. If you enter a relationship and post it on facebook it shows up on all of your friends newsfeeds, letting everyone know (which is fine once again if you want it that way). Facebook dating etiquette has even developed now as a result of relationship status. The question of when to change your status either entering a relationship or ending one and how long you should wait. A plethora of problems can arise from this whether it comes down to family members finding out you're in a relationship before you can tell them or a bad breakup. It's not so bad when its the happy time of the beginning of a relationship however, what about the painful time of a breakup? Relationship status just invites people into your personal life and there is always that person that will respond to that "Name is no longer listed as "in a relationship" as fast as they can.. as if it is their personal duty to talk to you about it. They ask painful questions like "aww what happened, you seemed so happy?!" or respond as if someone has died in a terrible train wreck, showering you with sympathy when you would rather be left alone. Maybe some people are just asking for attention.

Anyway... facebook has its pros and cons so I figured I'd write about them. Its up to you to decide if you'd like. Enjoy your day everyone.

Perception is Everything

I was just looking at this blog and I realized that in 2008 I had written 46 blog entries... and this year I only wrote 7. That's pretty pathetic in comparison so I think I'll be cranking these out for the entire summer and college. Lucky you =] .. just kidding that sounded kind of conceited.. but really ;).

When I was thirteen or fourteen I remember being really confused about some problem in my life at the time and asking for my Dad's advice. He told me one thing: "Perception is everything." That phrase has stuck with me since then and whenever I have an issue I tell myself that. So I started reading a new book lately and its the first of a series. It's called "Wizard's First Rule" by Terry Goodkind. It's a fantasy/sci-fi type of book (surprise =P) and so far it is fantastic. I prefer reading about things that aren't realistic... because why should I read about the normal run-of-the-mill things when I can use my imagination and get lost in the magic of other worlds?

The main character's name is Richard Cypher and he's one of those characters that you really wish was real. I mean chivalrous, honest, strong, pure of heart and mind, kind, and ruggedly handsome (well...at least in my mind). What more could you ask for in a hero? But I'm gushing over a fictional character.. where was I? ...Right! I was reading along and I came across the quote "Reality isn't relevant. Perception is everything." So immediately a little mental red flag went up as I recognized the phrase.

Dad... have you been talking to Terry Goodkind?

Doubtful, but the phrase holds an abundance of truth and meaning nonetheless.

Perception really is everything. How you see a situation or how you see certain people really depends on your attitude and your willingness to keep an open mind. Keeping an open mind can enable you to see certain people in a different light, maybe in a way that you have never seen them before. While this can be a good thing... like getting to know someone you hadn't spoken to before and realizing they are an amazing person... it can at the same time be dangerous. Sometimes perception hinders you from seeing the truth. If you are seeing through someone else's point of view you are sometimes vulnerable to trickery and manipulation. You give them the power to make you see and believe what they want you to and not what you would normally believe in by your moral standards. How you perceive the world and people is vital to the type of life you lead. Perception is everything. That's what I learned this week.

My cat eats mice. Does that make him bad? I don't think so, and the cat doesn't think so, but I would bet the mice have a different opinion.

Time Warp

Hey there! There are so many things I have to write about here that I can't think of where to start. But here, I'll make a deal... if you are reading this I promise there will be a few entries coming soon. School is finally over and graduation is coming this weekend. I'll admit it: it feels a little strange that we're leaving (although I really can't wait to go to college baby! woohoo!). In a way I feel kind of weightless. Like I'm just floating along and this is going to be a fun, carefree summer with no worries. I hope that I'm right.

Right now I'm sitting here typing with my electric teal nail-polished fingers (yay) and I'm thinking about how strange time is. Not really the concept of what time is perse... but how it can seem to fly by and also pass on so slowly. The last week of school really just flew by... and before we knew what hit us, it was over. After all the preparations for prom (which was awesome by the way) and all the waiting, the night seemed to be over way too fast. Sometimes when you go on a date with someone and you're having a great time you just don't want it to end =]. Maybe this summer will fly by... but I intend on enjoying every second of it.

And then there are the times when everything seems to be happening so slow you could swear we were all put in slow-motion. Being a track runner you start to understand how long a minute is. An epic race can happen in 60 seconds with various steps, movements, cheering, thoughts, and emotions. And you start to realize how much can happen in a second or two. Or then there is that not-so-pleasant instance when you're at your job and time seems to be going so much slower than it actually is. I'll give you an example of work the other day at friendly's:
-I was standing there scooping ice cream and I had been there about an hour when I start playing a little game with myself. I thought "okay... when I think its been another hour I'll look at the clock again." *scoop, scoop, scoop, scoop* *whipped topping and a cherry* *scoop, scoop scoop* ... "okay its been about an hour, lets look at the clock.... 17 MINUTES?!?!?!" okay I'll look again when it gets dark outside" ... *when it's dark out* "three more hours!"

So time can go slow or fast but I suppose how you perceive it is the most important thing. Because really.. time is all we have here.

oh! and I sprained my wrist. How? ..... scooping ice cream

... yeah...laugh it up
=P

People and Trees

It has been awhile since I've last written and things are finally starting to slow down in my life. Fourth quarter of senior year in high school... where everyone just floats and waits until graduation. Where did it all go? There is less than 15 school days left and less than a week until prom. At first this year seemed to drag on, yet now it seems that our time here is running out. In my senior year I've started talking to a lot of people that I haven't normally talked to in the past. If you can get past the social barriers established in the past you can get to know some really great people that you haven't ever really gotten the chance to talk to before. What bothers me though is that sometimes other people live in the mindset of the past and still hold the judgement on people that they made years and years ago. So here's my little analogy:

In a way I think people are like trees. As a tree grows, new layers are added to the outside surface in order to widen the tree's girth and make it stronger. The tree grows thicker and taller over time, yet those layers beneath still exist.

From the time we are born to the time we die, we (humans) are ceaselessly changing. As we mature, new layers are added one after another, however we keep the core of who we are. It's right there, deep inside of us. And within these layers we hold our memories. The little girl who played on the swing-set, or the adolescent boy who had dreams of becoming a major league baseball player are still there.

If you were to look at a cross-section of a tree, you might see cracks and scars within its woody interior. Our layers bare our scars as well and they make us who we are, despite the fact that we may hide them well. Without these layers which hold our experiences and are the substance of our lives, we wouldn't be the people that we are today. Without a glimpse into the layers of other people, you can never really see someone for who they truly are.

So next time you look at someone and start to judge by what you merely see...look deeper. That person has a past just like you do. They have layers beneath that surface that you see on the exterior. And although some of those layers may be rough around the edges, nicked a little bit, or maybe even scarred... the core is all that matters. They could be a kind, considerate, amazing person. Knowing that and being able to know them is worth so much more than leaning towards superficial tendencies.

The Day of Love

Oh Valentine's Day *dramatic sigh* ... love is in the air, cupid is roaming the skies with his angelic wings and fateful arrows. Too bad it doesn't feel like it. Not to be a downer on the whole "day of love" but today feels like any other day of the year. I feel like Valentine's Day has become (or maybe always has been) such a commercial holiday. It's an excuse for the multi-million dollar corporations to make even more money. I've seen Valentine's commercials being advertised for months now and people go out and by chocolates and gifts and jewellery. It's not that I don't like the holiday or am bitter towards it (on the contrary i like seeing couples together on valentine's day) but I don't see why a day has to be dedicated to love. If you truly love someone you shouldn't need a day or an excuse to show someone that you love them or feel pressured to have a "valentine". If you truly love someone then everyday is Valentine's day.

Valentine's day can also be a depressing day for some people, whether they are single or far away from the people they love. Some people hate Valentine's day and feel lonely or unwanted. Just because you aren't part of a "couple" on one day of the year doesn't mean you should feel dejected or unhappy. You shouldn't have to be in love with someone else in order to be happy. First learn to love yourself, and then things fall into place eventually.

"So she had to satisfy herself with the idea of love-loving the loving of things whose existence she didn't care at all about. Love itself became the object of her love. She loved herself in love, she loved loving love, as love loves loving, and was able, in that way, to reconcile herself with a world that fell so short of what she would have hoped for. It was not the world that was the great and saving lie, but her willingness to make it beautiful and fair, to live a once-removed life, in a world once-removed from the one in which everyone else seemed to exist." -Jonathan Safran Foer

With the coming of Valentine's day it's hard for one not to think thoughts like "I wish I was in a relationship" or "what would I be doing right now if I had a boyfriend/girlfriend?" or "Why can't I have that and be happy?" This is just loving the idea of love.. not being in love itself. Days like today just make us want the reassurance of love, to know that someone loves us and that we are wanted and accepted. It's a form of self security. We don't want love itself, just the knowledge that it's there, like new batteries in the flashlight in the emergency kit in the hallway closet.

So if you are in a relationship: enjoy the day with your sweetie, but don't forget that you don't need a special day in order to show your feelings. And if you're single, take this "holiday" with a grain of salt and don't let it get you down. Think of the things you have in your life, the things you have accomplished, and be happy with who you are. There is no one else quite like you... you have your own mind, your own thoughts, and that gives you a freedom that no love is going to bring you. Be happy for who you are and who you will become and look forward to the future. You are truly unique and you don't need a significant other to remind you of that.