What AP English 11 Has Done to Our Students

Starting Note: Through months of observation within the ninth period AP English class, the students have been studied and categoried merely for recreational purposes. I have made the discovery that the students have formed different groups and attitudes in response to how the curriculum is administered ... "Sorrentino Style." Anyone who has ever been in AP english 11 with him knows exactly what this teaching method includes. He we shall start the student analysis:

Type A: These are your typical suck-ups who try to get our very loud teacher's attention as much as they possibly can. They are under the false impression that he is an all-knowing god that will teach them all they need to know about the course. As much as he offhandly ignores them and even at times insults them, they still strive to be the teacher's pet... a rank which they shall never ascend to (as the rest of us know).

Type B: These students are the most common within the class. They are more commonly known as the "space cadets." They are normally very bright students, however for the agonizing 45 minutes where they are detained in this class, they can do nothing but zone out. For periods of time, in response to the monotone droning of a certain someone's voice, they are incapable of doing anything but stare into space. Their eyes glaze over and if you're lucky enough, you might see one drool (jk).

Type C: A large majority of the class consists of type C. This type is alert, on edge, and will bolt out of their seats and lurch for the door at 2:10 whether the bell has rang or not. They watch the clock incessantly, looking up every 2 minutes wondering why on earth they are here. They become angry, saying under their breath to other students how this is a complete waste of our time. They used to enjoy English and now they hate it. If you look at their faces you can almost read their minds... they're saying "please, get me the hell out of here!"

Type D: Now with this type we can observe our "artists." No, I don't mean your typical art majors who can make masterpieces with pencil and paper, although there are some. I'm talking about your average doodlers. By this point in the year they have drawn everything in the classroom at least once, including our much-loved teacher. In fact, he is the primary sketching target. A wide variety of work can been seen from this group, ranging from stick-figure cartoons to meticulously detailed sketches complete with proportional shading. The artists seek to amuse themselves by their own means because they're certainly not getting entertainment elsewhere in 9th period.

Type E: These people are known as the class slackers. They don't really do anything, including the miniscule amount of homework we recieve (well, actually very few do that). Some will actually participate in class, however they interject with irrelevant information. If you see one of these in class, consider it as an encounter that occurs once in a blue moon because it's that rare. Most of the time they don't feel the need to come to class so they don't show. I can't really blame them.

Type F: This group is one of my personal favorites. They are known as "the distracters." These students have the ability to distract our darling professor in any given circumstance. They can get the class discussion off-track for the entire period with just one sentence. These individuals have turned side-tracking into an art form; one which they have mastered. By continuously talking and adding in completely irrelevant topics little by little, they draw in the teacher like a moth to a flame, and occasionally he gets so immersed that he's blinded by the light. They plan the days' "delaying topics" periods in advance so that they'll be able to do something in class that doesn't involve English. In other words; they have taken bullshitting to a whole new level.

Type G: This is the group of "sleepers." Pretty self explanatory I think. They are similar to type B, except they take it a step further than. Instead of just dayrdreaming, they go the whole nine yards and full-out sleep. Ninth period is their designated nap-time and you can frequently witness them dozing off, zonking out, crashing, getting some shut-eye, catching some Zzz's... you get my point =P. So for 45 minutes they reside in a self-induced coma, which they immediately snap out of when the bell rings.

Type H: This is the final group I have observed so far. I call this group "the analyzers." These students frequently become so bored in class that in order to keep their sanity, they always find new ways to amuse themselves. Whether it be writing blogs in class, discussing the deep meanings of certain topics through notes with other students, or observing their fellow classmates, they always find entertainment somehow. They try to put their creativity to good use until they can leave the class. This is the type of person who will sit in class quietly, pretending to pay attention to the nonsense going on at the front of the room. You will see her scribbling away in her notebook, and it looks like she's actually doing work. Odds are she's probably not. She's just getting her thoughts out on paper. Yep, you guess it... the analyzer is Yours Truly ^_-.

-This analysis was created out of pure boredom.. I hope it amused you at least a little bit.. it was certainly interesting to write. If you think of any more types let me know =).

A Bit Restless

This morning I woke up at 7 o'clock on my own, realizing that I had paused the Phantom of the Opera (movie) last night and hadn't finished it. I guess I had tired myself out reciting the movie line for line =P. That pisses a lot of people off, including myself when other people do it, but when I'm alone I enjoy saying the lines aloud as I hear them... makes me feel special I guess; knowing it all by heart. So I ended up watching the last half of that brilliant movie, which usually leaves me in a fantastic mood... yet I didn't feel fantastic at all. In fact, I've been restless all morning. I even cleaned my room.. and my bathroom without anyone telling me to. And I HATE cleaning. Maybe it was just a way to get rid of some excess energy today. We had the day off from track and I was going to go for a run, but since my knee gave out yesterday that would be a bit painful.

So I spent most of the morning cleaning. Thinking about things... maybe too many things (not necessarily bad things). And the fact that I was actually cleaning sank in and I got a little annoyed. I finished anyway and then took a shower. I got out of the shower not too long ago and I feel a little better... I braided my hair so it's out of my face and I think the reduction of clutter in my room has eased my nerves a little. Have you ever been a little restless and not really known the reason for it? Well thats pretty much where I am now... hoping that writing here will bring a bit of sense to it all.

As of late I finished reading "Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas" by James Patterson for the second time. Reading it twice only helps to validate that it is one of the best books I've ever read. It just draws you into the story so much that you get emotionally attatched ( I cried both times I read it... and yes I AM a sap =P). But not only is the book good.. it also has meaning. By reading Suzanne's diary you see life through the eyes of a woman who faces many obstacles in life and you experience them with her. The diary is written for her son Nicholas, who is just as infant at the time, so he get to know his mother for the person she really is. What an idea huh? To write a journal of letters to the people you love... showing them the person you truly are and how much you care about them ^_-. A bit ironic.. You know, when I was a little girl I used to write letters; letters that I never sent or gave to anyone. I would write letters to friends, or boys I had a crush on =P, or people that I admired, and I'd keep them in a journal. I still have it somewhere. I remember once I gave one of them to my mom for mother's day. I was probably around 11 years old. The letter was pretty deep; it told her how much I appreciated her and that I loved having her as a mom... and I remember, to my surprise, she cried. Then she gave me a big hug. Amazing how the smallest things, like letting someone know how much they really mean to you, can make a difference.

The most important thing I took from that book was the concept of how lucky we all are. To be living the lives we do and to have the people we care about... and the ones that care about us. One of the most vital lessons was "live for today" not tomorrow, or the next day, or even a month or a year from now. You will never be the same way you are right now and the most important thing to do is be happy. Life is so precious.. why waste it by worrying too much about the future? Sieze the day! And when I finished reading that book I realized that it relates to my life... to everyone's life. Maybe it was even why I was so restless this morning. There's no sense in worrying about events that may occur in the future... and ignoring what is happening in the moment. People will do what makes them happy and what is important for them, and you find a way to accept that and do what makes you happy and what is best for you... whichever way things may turn out. Remember today and the happy moments you have. And what's a better way to remember than writing it all down.. so that you can look back on them.. and so can the people you love.

"It's not always where you end up, is it, that's the most important thing? It's the journey itself, and what you find, what you do along the way. Where we're going matters, but so does where we are."

TRACK <333

Hello there again. So I haven't been as faithful to this blog as I'd originally planned. Oh well. I've gotten distracted with other "projects" you could say.. so anyway, this last month has been fantastic. I won't recap the entire month because you would probably get bored and to be perfectly honest.. I don't want to type for that long. I'll just say that so far april has been great.. and the band trip was awesome... no, beyond awesome =).

The catalyst for my writing on here again is track. Today we had a home meet against harbor fields, and although we lost, I had quite an amazing day. It was beautiful outside today; nice and warm with just a little bit of a breeze. Instead of running 2 events like usual, I ran 3: 400m, 400m hurdles, and 400m relay (yes I kindof run 400 meters a lot =P). The newest addition to the events I participate in is the 400m hurdles. I had been wanting to try the hurdles since literally last spring (when I was stuck doing lacrosse). Today I was thrilled to actually have the opportunity to try them. And the result = awesomeness. I ended up not only doing well, but also winning the race, with 78 seconds.. great for a first try (oh and also the accomplishment of NOT falling on my face =D). A lot of people have told me they hate the 400 hurdles, but I actually had a lot of fun with them today. It makes the race a lot more interesting. Instead of just *sprint, sprint, sprint, sprint* .. its *sprint, sprint, HURDLE, sprint, sprint sprint, HURDLE* Oh! Also today I won the regular 400m race, which was really close, and I ran last leg in our 400m relay.... which we also won!! In addition, that race was extremely close and I didn't think I'd be able to pass the girl... but I did.. and everyone kinda went crazy. So overall it was an amazing day for track and I had a lot of fun. I feel... elated right now. And yes, I am a nerd; I got so excited that I came home and couldn't wait to write about track in my blog =P

Track is just so... it feels so amazing to run in track, especially the 400m. Its not as short as the 100, yet not as impossibly long as the 1500. In my opinion it's the perfect distance.. well for my body anyway. Running in track is different for me than it was in cross-country. Cross-country had the relaxing, long fluid motions, where you could feel the muscles working in your body and pay attention to your surroundings. In cross country I'd pay attention to the nature sounds, listen to my breathing, hear how my footsteps hit the earth, and reflect on all the things that happened during the day (or work through things that were bothering me). Running track, or the events I do, is a totally different caliber of running. It's this thrilling, high-speed, adrenalin pumping race. It's something that you just throw your whole body, mind, and soul into... concentrating and almost losing yourself in it.

When I'm racing in track, I don't hear the nature sounds; I don't hear any of the surroundings. It's just me and the track and the girl I'm racing against. Out on the track, its either you have what it takes, or you don't, as simple as that. I don't think about the homework that I have to do, or the things that are bothering me. For those 66 seconds the only things I think about are energy, speed, and the drive to win. And for those 66 seconds, it's as if you escape; you escape to somewhere only other runners would understand. And then there's the finish line; that moment where you see the it just beyond that last 100m stretch. It's at that point where you just give it everything you've got, and put it all out there on the track. That last stetch is my favorite part of the race, all high-speed and blood pumping, using that last explosive burst of energy you have. At that point something in my head just snaps and I just have to takeoff as fast as I possibly can, no matter how tired I am. It's like a reflex, like I'm on autopilot and I've lost all physical control. And maybe that's what I love about it, to let loose for once, to lose all control and go crazy for just a moment. And lastly, there's that feeling when you cross the finish line. The finish line is the place where all your hard work and sweat has paid off. It's where you know you've tried your hardest and your a winner, no matter if you've won the race or not. It's the moment where your breath finds its way back to you, where you find relief, and where you discover that your body is so incredibly tired that you actually feel amazing... exhilarated.

I love that feeling. I could live for that feeling and every time I race I love track more and more. The sport where I can be myself. The sport where I can work hard and it will actually pay off, and where my efforts will take me somewhere. The sport where politics aren't involved, where you can come out of woodwork and still have as much of an opportunity as someone whose father has been involved with the league for years. It's the sport where you push yourself, where you exhert the effort and succeed if and only if you want to. In track, you can be part of a team and have their support, yet still remain independent and feel the achievement of your goals on a personal level. But most important to me; this is the sport where you're not really racing against anyone else, or even a stopwatch. As Bill Persons once said, "A runner runs against himself, against the best that's in him. Not against a dead thing of wheels and pulleys.That's the way to be great, running against yourself. Against all the rotten mess in the world. Against God, if you’re good enough." So running is a way to be yourself, explore your own limits, discover who you are, and even who you want to be.

"When people ask me why I run, I tell them, there's not really a reason, it's just the adrenalin when you start, and the feeling when you cross that finish line, and know that you are a winner no matter what place you got. -Courtney Parsons"

Honesty

Hi there. Since you're reading this I guess you'd like to know whats new in my life. About five minutes ago I went downstairs looking for a snack. Track started on monday and I'm in the typical constant-food-mode again.. but ya gotta love it. I decided on a few oreos (I'll admit.. not the healthiest choice, but I haven't had them in months.. so HA). After choosing oreos and eating one I realized I needed milk.. because, as well all know, milk is a necessity with oreos. I open the fridge and someone left a container of milk with barely anything in it there.. I mean, not even a sip. That really bugs me. Just thought I'll let you know =P. So I went upstairs about a minute ago.. sitting in front of the computer eating oreos, drinking milk from the newly opened carton, and listening to Billy Joel <3. The song "honesty" came on and at first I was focused on other things but as I started to listen to the lyrics I realized how true they really are. And now I'm dedicating this entry to it.. because Billy Joel is definitely blog-worthy, as I'm sure you agree (and if not... c'mon.. he's Billy Joel for pete's sake). Here it goes:

"If you search for tenderness
it isn't hard to find.
You can have the love you need to live.
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind.
It always seems to be so hard to give.

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.

I can always find someone
to say they sympathize.
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.
But I don't want some pretty face
to tell me pretty lies.
All I want is someone to believe. "

> He totally hit the nail on the head with those lyrics.. and they really make you think. Honesty is such a hard quality to find these days. It's rare to actually find a person that is willing to be completely honest and has nothing to hide. Think about it, people lie all the time. It's become a casual thing... part of every day life for some people. Heck, some people even make it their lifestyle. Lets just call this type of lieing: Type A. This isn't true for everyone, but typically if you ask a female how much she weighs she'll either lie about it or shrug off the question. Or think about school, there's always that someone that doesn't do their homework, yet when the teacher asks why they failed to complete the assignment, they decide to fabricate this elaborate excuse as to why they didn't do it. Would it be so bad to just tell the truth? "Mr. Teacher I didn't do my homework because I honestly just didn't have time and I was really tired. Could I possibly hand it in tomorrow? And if not I'm ready to accept the consequences for my actions." Is that really so hard? OR "How much do I weigh? I weigh 115 pounds.. I weigh 130 pounds.. I weigh 267.576 pounds..." It's not difficult. Who cares? Why lie? I just don't really see the point of all the lieing. Maybe its because people have no trust in each other? Want to hide who their true identity? Are ashamed?

The casual almost insignificant lies don't bother me so much, but some people even lie about the important things. I'll call this one Type B: The type I'm referring to are the people that lie to their "best friends," to their families, and to their boyfriends. They lie straight to the faces of the people they say they "care about," when in the reality, the truth would save everyone a lot of pain. What really aggravates me though is that these incessant liars get away with it! They get away with it ALL THE TIME! Maybe they feel like it's okay to perpetually lie to people, but it's not. It is not okay to feign innocence in an attempt to deny your actions. It is not okay to deny talking about your so-called "friend" to the the very person your friend has emotional ties to... especially when confronted directly about it. It is not okay to lie about your relationships with other people, whether that relationship be friendship or something more. It is not okay to betray the very people you say you "love" and then act surprised when they get upset. But above all it is NOT OKAY to play with people's emotions. They are NOT toys. They are real people who can feel happiness and pain just like you do, and hurt just the same, if not worse. Trifling with their emotions is selfish, hurtful, heartless, and WRONG! Painstakingly and resolutely WRONG. By decieving all the time you lose the trust of the people you lie to, and their trust disintegrates like dust in the wind. Being continually untruthful alienates everyone around you and in the end you weave this thick tangled web of lies that will eventually consume and devour you whole.

There is also another type of lieing. This is Type C. This is a more subtle type and I'm sorry to say that although I am not guilty of the ones stated above, I am guily of this one (partially anyway). This type of lieing is more like lieing by omission. You hide how you feel about someone by simply not saying it. Most of the time I'm straightfoward with how I feel about people, especially the people I care about, and that at the moment is still true. However, I'm guilty of hiding my feelings about the people I DON'T care about. With this issue lately, I feel as if I've been hiding behind a mask of silence. Sure I haven't been as smiley and nicey-nice lately, but I haven't actually come out and said it either. It all just seems so fake, and I hate that feeling. To put on this care-free facade on the exterior and feel utterly disgusted on the inside. The reason why I said I'm "partially" guilty is because this subtle type of lieing (which is more with body language than verbally lieing) that I'm afflicted with is a result of an aquaintance with a "Type B" individual. And although I personally want to tell this Type B Liar that they can go to hell, I can't get over the fact that I actually have a conscience. Being too harsh can potentially hurt someone, and although I truly detest this individual, I find myself having enough concern for them as a human being to not want to hurt them. Figure that out... its a bit mind-boggling.

So in conclusion with this blog entry... Billy Joel is a genius and he definitely had it right with those lyrics. Honesty is rare... and admitting to dishonestly is ever rarer. Interesting how one song and the ideas of one person can inspire some creativity of your own, huh?

What happens when I'm bored in english (besides random sketches):

Have you ever walked down the halls if a school and noticed all the different groups of people? They are all seperate, different cliques, yet many of the members tend to dress alike, talk alike... even think alike. We form these cliques in order to feel accepted, develop good friendships, and to make a human connection. I don't think cliques are necessarily bad, yet in high school is seems to be taken a bit too far. Cliques can reject other individuals or even threaten them, groups fight with other groups (sometimes like a full out war), and what is it all for?

As you walk through the high school corridors in the morning they are practically buzzing with chatter. Everyone is so absorbed in their lives, their friends, and their own little worlds. Girls gossip about what others are wearing, evaluating and criticizing. They make fun of others for being different while they are indeed subjecting themselves to the ridiculous conformity of society. While they condescendingly condemn individuality, they lose sight of it on a personal level. Not all cliques (or groups of friends) are like this. Some are solid support systems that get along with mostly everyone, but the ones that aren't this way are the irritating ones.

High schools, or the students in them, have created their own isolated and somewhat naiive world. People complain about how they and their best friend are in their latest spat that ends a day later, or how their sixth period teacher is a total jerk (while some people in the world have to live a lifetime under the rule of a dictator, not having the option of getting an education by spending 42 minutes with an adult they mildly dislike). What really gets me is how people complain about their problems on a constant basis to others, as if its a competition of "who has it worse." I don't mean the typical venting we do naturally to clear our heads, I mean the over-the-top whining. When talking to these people, even if you try to contribute a littel to the conversation or change the subject, they turn the entire conversation around once again to one thing: themselves. Sometimes it's like, "okay look, I understand you have your problems, but the world DOES NOT revolve around you. move on"

I find it amazing how people use their issues as a way to get attention. Honestly, do people really need that kind of attention? I know people who will show blatant disregard to others just so they can focus on themselves and flaunt their problems. Its so selfish. Don't they understand that some people have it SO much worse than they do? That they are trying to get attention while people suffer from depression every day, people die in war, children are starving in third world countries, and innocent people die because of the greed and lust for power of others?

Another thing I don't quite understand are the people that have to be right ALL THE TIME, disregarding how evidently wrong they may be. These people argue just for the sake of argument, yet they never hear the opposing views. They don't even blink an eye or dream of considering that the opposition could maybe, just maybe, be making a relevant point. They see the situation with two sides: right and wrong.. and they of course are always right. They are close-minded and therefore ignorant. I don't have a problem with argumentative people, hell, I can be one myself, but I can at least admit it when I'm wrong and acknowledge both sides of an argument. It drives me crazy when these stubborn and nearsighted people go on their monologues, droning on and on, trying to force their opinions down your throat.. and its even worse when they wrong! What is the point? Why must they feel as if its absolutely necessary to prove themselves correct constantly? Are they really that insecure?

In a way I'm growing more and more tired of high school. Well maybe not high school itself, but most definitely it's games and rules. Sure there are things I'll miss; like certain teachers, sports, and seeing friends on a daily basis, but I wont miss getting up at 6 in the morning for class, pushing through people to get to my locker, vindictive hall monitors (won't mention any names =P), or the catty cliques that exist. I want something better, I want the freedom of going to school for something I actually want, not just what is required, and I'm tired of all the foolish games in between. WHen you graduate from high school you move on to college; but when you graduate from college you move on to life. I'm hoping this is just a prequel to something better.

"If ignorance is bliss, then why aren't more people happy?"

"Love": a universal emotion, yet percieved in so many different ways

Good morning.. well technically its almost noon, however I just woke up, so therefore in my mind it's "morning." This is our last day of vacation and it's sad to think that it's almost over. I hope to get out and do something today. Gene might be coming over later and I haven't seen him in awhile so that should be nice. On another note, although I like this break we're having, I really want track to start again. I'm starting feel lazy and lethargic and I need to be active. Sitting around with nothing to do doesn't exactly cut it for me. Oh well, I'm glad I'm at least avoiding the latest Sorrentino essay, for now anyway. Later on I'll have to write it but I think I have a topic idea. Something about how although the media can be partially blamed for the corruption of values and morals in the youth of our nation, the people who are primarily at fault are the parents. Things have changed significantly in our day and age since twenty years ago. People are so busy and overwhelmed with their jobs, paying the bills, and running around, that they sit their kids in front of the television and neglect to teach them the proper values. Kids are forced to obtain their standard systems through the TV, magazines, and some of the music they listen to (like the trashy drug/crime-influenced rap garbage that is somehow widely popular these days -- though I can't contemplate why). So you see, athough the media is at fault in a way, the main cause of the distortion of the youth of the nation is simply this: bad parenting. I'll end up writing about all that later =P.

On a different note: When I woke up before and was brushing my teeth I thought about a conversation I'd had with my parents about..3 days ago. (And I have no idea why I think about things when I'm brushing my teeth, your guess is as good as mine ^_^). I had come downstairs and my parents had started to watch a movie in the living room, so I settled down on the couch and started to watch with them. The movie was called "Pretty in Pink" (yes I know, not my usual movie genre) and it was made in the 80's <3 with stars like Molly Ringwald and Jon Cryer. I don't know if you've ever seen it but if you haven't I'll give you a quick run through: The story takes place in a town with one high school, yet there are 2 parts of the town; the rich-snobby side and the .. not so rich and kind of "trashy" side of town. A guy from the rich side meets a girl from the "other side" of the tracks and they realize that they really like eachother, yet in the hierarchy of their high school this is socially unacceptable. So I guess this is sort of like an 80's era Romeo and Juliet deal, minus all the violence and add some big hair and bright clothing =D. Well anyway, after their first date (and an intesne kiss =P ) the guy brings the girl home and she goes inside and gleefully sits on the sofa where her father is waiting. Since her mother had left them, her father had taken on the responsibility of talking to her about "relationship things." During the course of their talk he asks her "So, do you love this guy?" Smiling and giddy, she replies "Yeah Dad, I think I do." The scene ends shortly after that and she goes to bed.

So there I am sitting there on the couch with my parents, looking incredulously at the screen and let out a quiet "You've got to be kidding me." My dad looks over inquiringly and asks what I mean. And I say, "She loves him? After one date... she's head over heels? I don't buy it." And he asks me "What, you don't think you can be in love with someone after one date?" When I shake my head he asks why. And I told him no because that was the first time they had even gone out, and although they are attracted to eachother, I don't think its love, it could be lust. I also explained how I believe love grows over time and you can't truly love someone unless you get to know them, and accpet them for who they are, not what you think they are. Then he told me how he disagrees. How he thinks love happens in an instant, like being hit by a lightning bolt, and how you can just know after the first kiss. (yeah weird topic to talk about with daddy-dearest right?) And then my parents started talking about how they knew after their first date.. which was cute, I'll admit that.

Back to brushing my teeth this morning: I was thinking about all that and wondering, if love can be described and percieved in so many different ways, then what really is love? Although I accept that it means something different for everyone, I have my own views on it. I think of it this way: Love is like a seed. However not the seed of a plant, but a seed of warmth and happiness that gets planted in your heart, whether you realize it at first or not. This seed grows and flourishes with time, yet unlike a plant, this is something that never dies. As it grows love warms you; body, heart, mind, and soul. I have heard love described as a fire inside of you, and although blazing fires of passion come and go, the warmth always remains with you, never fading, never dieing, and always there within your heart.

I feel like the phrase "I love you" is so over-used, especially in high school. No.. correction: I think it is used too casually. I don't have a problem with it being used, on the contrary I think it's good thing, but I think you should only say it if you really mean it. I just think people get confused as to when and why you use it.. or even what it truly means. See, when you love someone, you don't love them because they are just "so perfect." You love them because you realize they are imperfect; they have faults just like you, they are human, and they can relate to you. You come to accept these imperfections and even fall in love with them, for you see, they are what make the person unique, one of a kind. You take the good in hand with the bad and you see them for who they are, not who you want them to be. We all have our own imperfections, but without them we wouldn't be our true selves, and without seeing and accepting people for who they really are, how can you ever love?

I need to do this more often...

Hi again. Okay so I officially need to write here more often, I mean, If I'm going to have this blog I might as well be committed to it. Just a warning, this is going to be hard though, between this, school, life, and a separate journal.The last time I wrote here, it was December, and so many things have changed since then. Most of those things for the better. It's amazing how many things can happen in a month or two months time. I can look back at my first posts here and say "wow, look how things turned out" and how certain feelings.. evolved, I suppose. I can't really give an adequate update of my life since then, things have been so busy. *sigh* the busy life of a junior. Winter track is over and spring track starts on the third. We've had this entire week off for February break which has been nice and relaxing, with the exception of today, which involved doing massive ammounts of homework. There are so many thing I'd like to write about here yet I won't bombard you with it all in one entry.. I'm going to try and space it out for you over the span of a few entries. I have a few aspirations for this blog. 1) I'm going to choose a meaningful topic in each entry and reflect on it. 2) I'm going to put a quote in each entry. 3) I'm really going to try and write here at least once a week.

So as I start off this entry I'm sitting in my room with some music playing in the background and my cat Maggie sleeping in my lap. I've been in a contemplative mood for a few hours now and there is so much going through my mind. I guess I'll just pick one topic right now.. and thats topic is... *drumroll*

College:
The other day when my family and I were out to lunch my Dad mentioned college visits and asked where I'd like to visit. Baffled and litte caught off-guard I wasn't really sure. To tell you the truth, I didnt have an answer. My most common overused phrase on this topic is "I don't know." I've looked at a few colleges, but when it comes to the reality of it all, I've barely scraped the surface. I'm not really sure about any of this yet, I mean sure, of course I want to go, but there are just SO MANY colleges. Where do I even begin to look? My father's answer to that question is *bum bum bumm*: locally. Sure thats all fine and dandy, but the truth is.. I dont want to go locally, and I would quite honestly rather go to a college in guam than go to suffolk. I'm almost certain that I want to go away to college, even though a certain parental figure might not be so fond of that idea. I'll keep an open mind and look at all my options, but this isn't about him, or anyone else for that matter; this is about me and my future. Going away to college isnt an experience that I want to miss out on, and in a way I want to get off the island, see other places. All of it is so much to think about and its just around the corner, coming fast. Before we know it we're going to be taking AP tests, finals, and regents. Then comes the summer filled with college visits.. and we all know how summer flies by way too fast as it is. It's difficult when you know you have to sit down and pick your future, decide on a college, and choose (or at least get an idea of) what you're going to do with the rest of your life. I guess this is an insight to whats going on inside the head of your typical high school junior (or senior even). But I just want to make the decisions that are best for me. I want to ammount to something. I want to be able to wake up in the morning ten years from now knowing that I have a career I love, something that I've worked for, and something that gives me a purpose. I want to be able to live a life I enjoy, and have a job that makes me feel meaningful and happy to get up everyday. Its a bit frightening to think that the choices we make now can affect us years from now. I guess I just want to make the right choices, do the right thing, and not make a mistake. I want to choose a college I love, enjoy the time given to me; the time thats supposed to be one of the best in your life.

Quote of the day:
"I see myself as a huge fiery comet, a shooting star. Everyone stops, points up and gasps "Oh look at that!" Then — whoosh, and I'm gone... and they'll never see anything like it ever again... and they won't be able to forget me — ever." -Jim Morrison