Fairy Godmothers and Happy Endings

When I was at Borders the other day I decided to pick up a new book to read. I started in the sci-fi section and then gradually made my way to the fantasy section... as I am inclined to do by habit. I noticed that on the shelf there were about 30 books written by the author, Mercedes Lackey. I had never read anything by her so I started to browse through them, finding various tales about wizards, jousting dragons, gryphons, royalty, and mages. My Dad wanted to leave because I was taking so long, so I just grabbed a book, purchased it, and we headed out. I could spend hours upon hours in that store =). The book I ended up getting is called "The Fairy Godmother." Yes, it sounds a bit cliched and cheesy, but it has a twist. It's about this girl named Elena who is supposed to be the "Cinderella" of her kingdom. She is 21, has an evil stepmother/stepsisters, yet she never gets her happy-ending. Her step-family flees, leaving her to fend for herself, yet no-one will hire her because of the debt her family has accumulated. Then her fairy godmother shows up and offers her the most unexpected job; the job of her apprentice. So far the book is interesting and I'm enjoying it... but it made me think.

When you are young it's so easy to believe in magic and happily-ever-afters. That the world is this perfect place where dreams come true and you meet Prince Charming, or your Knight in shining armor riding a gleaming white stallion. Strong heros and heroines follow a code of valor and chivalry to defend those who cannot defend themselves. There are charitable Kings and Queens who justly rule the lands. You can find a genie in a lamp to grant your greatest desires. If you need a helping hand or get into trouble, your Fairy Godmother is always there to bail you out. It's not so impossible to imagine fantastical creatures such as faeries, dragons, elves, gryphons, or unicorns roaming through magical forests, dwelling in ancient caves, and soaring through the skies. That's why I love the fantasy genre. The books take you away to a magical place, to a far off realm, and a whole new world in itself. They take you back to when you were a child.. when it wasn't so hard to believe in magic.

As we grow older we come to realize that the world isn't such a perfect place and that sometimes there are no happy-endings. There are terrible people who hurt the innocent ones and tyrannically rule governments. There are no genies in magic lamps to grant our every wish and Fairy Godmothers do not exist to lead us to our happy-endings. We are all required to make decisions in our lives that have consequences, whether those consequences be good or bad. Not all things in life are like a fairy-tale. For instance, when I was younger, I never thought we would have to move from our old house. It was a beautiful blue two-story ranch that my parents had built themselves; with my mother's magnificent gardens, a sprawling backyard, a pool, an unattached garage the size of a small house (where my dad worked on his business), and two acres of woods on the property. Life was good there and we were happy. Then the town decided to build a school bus yard across the street from our house. Our neighbors and the community had a chance to fight it, yet they didn't take the initiative to go to the town meeting about the issue, leaving my mom and one other resident as the only people there who opposed it. So they ended up building the bus yard soon after. The buses were loud in the morning and they polluted the air near our house. I had bad asthma as a little kid and the bus yard made it even worse. I kept getting sick from it and eventually we had to move.

Sometimes I wonder what things would have been like if we didn't have to move, if people had made the decision to stand up against the town and the bus yard was never built. I would still be in Sachem school district with all the people I went to elementary school with, and with some of the people I played hockey with. My cousin (who also moved) would still be my neighbor and I would see her almost everyday... just like I did when we were little. I could help my mom pick string beans and tomatoes out of her garden during the summer. I might have gotten a job at one of the local stores. But above all, I wonder what I would be like if we had stayed there.. what kind of person I would have become. I was only eleven when we moved, still impressionable, and affected by all of the people around me. Moving to a new school was an experience, with making new friends and trying to fit in. Sometimes we don't realize how much the people around us really influence us, especially when we're young. If I had stayed in Sachem, would I have gotten into sports as much? I might have gotten cut from the teams I tried out for.. it is a much larger school after all. Would I have the same taste of music that I do now... would I love Rock? Or would I be into rap because all my friends listened to it? Would I have kept the same friends? And if I had, would I have followed them? I might even be a cheerleader if I stayed there.. considering that's what all my old friends became. Or could I have followed in my older brother Gene's footsteps and joined Sachem marching band? Getting really into music? Would the relationships I have with people that I still know from there be any different now because I would live closer? I would have a different best friend, a different boyfriend, a different neighbor, different teachers.

Amazing how one event can change and shape your entire life and the person you become. But when you think about the past and what could have been you also think about the present and realize what couldn't have happened. If I had never moved I wouldn't have known all the people I do now. I wouldn't have ever met the amazing friends I have. I wouldn't be dating my awesome boyfriend (kev ^_-). I wouldn't have known and learned from some great teachers and coaches I have had. I wouldn't have had the same good and bad experiences. I wouldn't have learned the same lessons from the same mistakes. There is so much weight placed on the decisions we make in our lives, and time can't be rewinded or changed. The people we surround ourselves with shape our lives and even the way we think sometimes. It might be nice to have a Fairy Godmother once in awhile to set things straight in our lives and guarantee a happy-ending. But if we had that guarantee... where is the adventure in life? What is our purpose? Why would we try as hard? It's better if your fate isn't written in the stars, that your tale isn't already finished. You write your own story and decide what you want to do with your own life. You make your own decisions, grant your own wishes, face your own monsters, and create your own happy-ending.

Like Dynamite Near a Flame

Well I figured it was time to write again.. plus I blogged on paper during my math class on thursday and figured I would post it here to vent. Wednesday had been going pretty smoothly up until about the middle of ninth period english. It seems as if things always start to go downhill by the time english comes around. Figures. Halfway through the period, after listening to Sorrentino vivaciously read Macbeth's part aloud for 25 minutes, two girls from my track team burst into the room and breathlessly tell me that the bus is waiting for me to leave for divisionals. My first response to that was "... WHAT?!" 1) No-one had informed me that we were leaving school early. 2) I wasn't changed nor had any of my stuff. I had seen at least half of the track team during the course of the day and not one of them said anything about it to me. So, naturally, when a select few members gave me an attitude about it, I was livid. Not to mention that on Tuesday, our day off, I showed up to a practice at 8 in the morning only to find out that there was no coach there and that it was cancelled.

So after a bus ride where I blasted music on my ipod and stared out the window, we arrived at Connetquot High School. I got changed there and I felt a little sick to my stomach for some reason. Then I had to sit around and do pretty much nothing for five hours because the 4x400 relay was at 7'oclock at night. To make things worse, when I actually did run I wasn't happy with my performance. I was 3 seconds off from my best time and we didn't make it back for finals. I didn't want to end the season like that. After divisionals we went to McDonalds (which I didn't even want in the first place). While we were at McDonalds my cell phone got stolen. I frantically searched around the restaurant for it, called it with Alex's cell phone, and finally realized that somebody must have taken it. They kept clicking "ignore" when I called. I hadn't flipped out in awhile.. and I called the phone again, enraged, and left a vindictive/furious voicemail on MY OWN phone. Then I deactivated it and hoped that by some off-chance it would explode in the hand of the person who stole it. I felt bad enough about it already by the time I go home, yet I got scolded for being irresponsible by my parents.

So Wednesday sucked and Thursday wasn't much better. I have a terrible temper lately. Normally I'm very laid back and don't let things bother me too easily, but my fuse keeps getting shorter and shorter. I am a time bomb, ticking away, threatening to explode at any given moment. I'm like a glass thermometer, with the fiery mercury rising ever-so-slightly, higher and higher until the glass is on the verge of cracking; or worse, shattering. I can't really explain why I'm so stressed out lately, but I don't like this at all. It could be because people keep pushing my buttons, bugging me and then acting shocked when I lose my temper. Or mistake me trying to control my temper as giving them an attitude. That drives me crazy. *bangs head against keyboard* Or it could be because of certain people I dislike trying to make everyone's lives a living hell. Or it could be because someone acts differently behind my back and she has the nerve to try and move in where she has no business. Or maybe I just want to sleep in my own comfortable bed again. In either case, I don't like feeling stressed out. I have knots in my back, I'm not sleeping well, and I want things to go back to normal.

Fate and the Tapestry of our Lives

I am currently still sick.. and I really hate it. Yet instead of doing homework or adding more hours to my already excessive sleep agenda, I'm sitting here writing yet again. I think I'm getting addicted.. not necessarily a bad thing though. Have you ever had a day where one word or concept keeps randomly popping up and gets your attention? Todays' random word was "tapestry" which isn't really used on an everyday basis, not by me anyway. The first time it came up was when I was reading someone else's book in 4th period out of sheer boredom. I didn't really think much of it and didn't think of it again until later. The second time "tapestry" came up was when I was in English class [we actually do stuff now .. its incredible!] where we are reading Shakespeare's "Macbeth." Sorrentino was saying something about how the themes of many Shakespearean plays are bases on "the fates" and how they weave the tapestry of life, and how the characters of the play complete it. So I sat there thinking to myself.. "God this sounds soo familiar! Tapestry... Fates. Spinning, measuring, cutting." Then it hit me! I was remembering the Greek myth of the Moerae, but I'll get into that later. The last time tapestry came up was when when I got home from school. After I took a nap, I started to listening to the singer Carole King on some of my moms CD's. I noticed there was a song called "Tapestry" on one of the CD's so I listened to it and looked up the lyrics. Then everything from my day all seemed to tie together...

For those of you who aren't big mythology buffs I'll briefly tell you about the Moerae, more commonly known as the "Three Fates." In greek mythology the Three Fates are a triad of three goddesses; three sisters who determine the course of life for every mortal. Each sister had a specific task: Clotho, who spins the thread of life with her silver spindle, Lachesis, who measures it with her divine meauring tape, and Atropus, who cuts the thread and ends it with her silver sheers. None of the sister godesses could function alone. A thread might be spun, but endlessly and without purpose or its natural course. Or without the spinning there is nothing to measure, nothing to cut. They are three parts with one purpose. Alone they would be nothing but ordinary if interesting women. Together, the most powerful and honored of the gods. The legend goes that each human is given their own thread of life which is spun, measured, and cut by the Three fates. Throughout their course, lives circle around and intersect. The threads touch and bounce off eachother, weaving into a colorful tapestry.

One of my favorite quotes from a novel by Nora Roberts:
"Fate isn't preordained. It isn't as simple as that. Fate isn't black or white, right or left. People aren't just plopped down and made to follow one route in life on the whims of the gods. If that were true, we'd have to say Hitler was only a victim of his own destiny, and therefore blameless. What I'm trying to say is that we have decisons to make, actions to take, good ones and bad ones that make up the texture of our lives. Everything we do or don't do matters. Everything counts at the end of the day. But the tapestry that started with the people who came before us isn't finished. Now we are the threads. We've begun to choose the pattern, at least individually, that we hope to make. We've still to agree on, to decide the pattern we want to make together. I believe theres a reason we came together like this, a reason we have a pattern to make. We have to see it through, try to find a way to complete it. I believe we're meant to try."

Interesting concept right? To think that maybe things happen the way they do for a reason? I'm not really sure what I believe, but I think it could be possible.. and hey, I like to dream a bit =). Maybe we should just relax and see where things take us. If it was meant to be than it was meant to be. Just relax, enjoy life, and let what may happen come to be. But then the question is: Should we take action and make a decision now that could dictate what happens with the rest of our lives? Once we weave a pattern in the delicate tapestry that makes up our lives, it is irreversible. There is no turning back and no erasing the past. Will we be able to look back upon the loom and feel no regret at the paths we have chosen, the patterns we have made, the intertwining relationships with others? Or will we wish that we had made the pattern more intricate? more colorful? more meaningful?

"My life has been a tapestry
Of rich and royal hue;
An everlasting vision
Of the ever-changing view;
A wond'rous woven magic
In bits of blue and gold;
A tapestry to feel and see;
Impossible to hold."-Carole King

Is it Written in the Stars?

Honestly, I really despise being sick. Yesterday during the day I thought my throat was bothering me because of allergies but it turned out that allegies weren't the cause of it. After dinner last night everyone went out and I was feeling a bit under the weather so I took a nap. By the time my family got home I was feeling absolutely terrible. I didn't want to eat dad's birthday cake, it hurt to swallow, and I had a throbbing headache. I still felt sick in the morning so I stayed home from school today and got some rest. I feel a little better now... but not much. Now I've just slept a lot so I'm not tired.. but my throat still hurts. When I wasn't sleeping for an hour or two I was searching for random blogs (of people I dont know).. kind of like mine to read. I was unsuccessful in that endeavor though and couldn't find any =(. I also watched a little bit of the Mets game.. but I dozed off a bit. When I woke up Louie, Ted, and Mag were all asleep on the couch with me. I felt so loved <3

When Matty got home from school I was drinking tea and sitting on the couch, attempting to make my throat feel better. I ended up dozing off and by the time I was half asleep I heard him and my mom talking about his science project on the planet Pluto. I started thinking about how Roman gods and goddesses are named after planets and stuff and their greek equivalents. Like Jupiter=Zeus, Venus=Aphrodite, Neptune=Poseidon, Mars=Ares... and so on. I've always been fascinated my Roman/Greek mythology and have read a lot of the stories. It's interesting to think that before Christianity the ancient Romans and Greeks had a polytheistic religion. Then when Christianity came everything pretty much just got virtually wiped out. I guess I really had the whole mythology concept in my head when I fell asleep because I had a really strange dream. I was in this Greek-looking structure.. looking kind of like the Parthenon but different, with white pillars and all. I was wearing the gleaming silver pendant on a necklace around my neck. The pendant was the sign of the bull ( I am a Taurus). There was a bunch of people gathering in the building and they were all wearing different sign pendants. And then I noticed that there were these people that were illuminated with a golden light. They looked almost hazy. There were different Roman gods all around... and then I woke up.

Let me clarify right now that NO I was not on any medication before I fell asleep and had that dream. That was my mind being very random and possibly a little out of it because I'm sick. It was a cool dream though.. and it was interesting. I thought the whole zodiac pendant thing was interesting. I don't know if any of you believe in astrology but I started to follow it over the summer. I'm not talking about the "every day horoscope" or "let's predict the future" nonsense. I'm just talking about the sun signs and how people under the signs have certain personality characteristics. For instance, I am your typical Taurus girl through and through. My best friend is a Sagitarius, my boyfriend is a Gemini, I have Pisces and Leo cousins, and a friend I've known since I was six is a Virgo. They all fit the description and it is incredible. Even a person who I'm not very fond of fits the female Gemini description. My parents fit the Taurus and Aries. I'm not really sure why I started reading about all of the signs.. probably out of sheer boredom or curiousity. Either way I find it fascinating. I'm not going to shape my life around it or anything drastic like that, it's just something interesting to know and it lets me draw parallels to things that go on with the people in my life.

So going back to Pluto which I guess in a way was the inspiration for this entire blog (and it might not even be a planet? lol)... I get really annoyed by catty girlfriends of close friends. >>> That transition will make sense if you wait a moment, I promise. This "almost girlfriend" that my friend has, decided that she felt the need to check me out like I'm some kind of competition with her man. He's all yours sweety, unless he decides otherwise. No need to be a control freak or google me looking for a personality profile. He doesn't talk about you to me... and even if he did that would be friend confidential. I'm in a relationship and I am happy. So there. This all relates to Pluto because this girl is a Scorpio.. yeah I looked at her facebook birthday because I was curious (sue me). The Scorpio sun sign is ruled by none other than our favorite planet (or nonplanet) PLUTO. I also discovered that when it comes to relationships with men or female "competition" Scorpio women desire to dominate, like to have control, can be overbearing/domineering, and are unreasonably suspicious. Interesting right? Nothing like drawing parallels to keep your mind sharp =P. Time to go to sleep and hopefully not have any more weird dreams today...g'nite <3

Project Adventure ... or Project Catastrophe?

I just got home from a light track practice and a pretty decent monday back at school. In most of my classes we did nothing.. or nothing important anyway. The only meaningful thing was taking a spanish test.. and that was even a bit of a joke. Looks like I'm going to be busy for a few nights this week. I want to go see the concert on Thursday and watch Kevin in jazz band =) It's always fun to watch jazz band. The pops concert is coming up in a little bit.. and I'm still not really sure what's going on with that as far as what I'm doing with other people. I gotta get on that I guess. Oh and just to put it out there.. does anyone know the date of the academic awards? I'm sure I've asked one person or another but I've completely forgotten.

So coming to the topic I have deemed worthy of today's blog: Today I had my first "Project Adventure" experience during Ferro's 7th period gym class, and might I add: That man still gives me the creeps. I can just hear his smarmy little voice calling out "Hey Jessie-girl" *shudders* So anyway back to project adventure.. or as Brandon referred to it before "Adventure Camp" lol =). We have a small class with approximately 12 people. I know mostly everyone in the class. There are three that I'm not really familiar with, and there is also one I strongly dislike (which is probably the main reason why I'm less than thrilled to be in the class). All I need is to have to deal with someone I can't stand on a day to day basis.

A the start of the class our beloved teacher started talking about how the course is designed to help the students work together as a team. The purpose is to cooperate and learn how to trust the people within your class. He was saying how you could hate someone during school and not get along at all, but that for the 40 minutes of the class you will learn to trust them. I hate to disagree with you Ferro, or sound a bit narrow-minded, but your class will make no difference on this matter. No sir, nothing changes behind the doors of the wrestling room. I am still the person I always have been, still maintain my values, and still have the same feelings towards certain people that I did before. The walls of a padded school athletics room can't block out the past.. or bad personality flaws for that matter.

Yes, I am aware that I sound a wee bit stubborn and like I'm holding a grudge, but I'm only human here ( and I'm a bit Taurean too =P). And the truth is; I'm not holding a grudge anymore. The past is the past, and what's done is done. I just don't like her and it's as simple as that. I never have and I can safely say that I probably never will. I don't like the person she is, her values, how she acts, and how she treats people (yes plural people) that I care about. I see right through it all. Sure I will try my best to be civil, and cordial, and I will possess the manners that I would show to any human being. But we're not talking about social niceties and etiquette right now. We are talking about trust.

Trust is a special thing, not something just given out on a whim to anyone and their mother. Would you give your trust to a random bum on the street? No, of course not. Trust is something that must be earned, and to gain trust you must prove yourself worthy of it. Once you give your trust to someone, you begin to open yourself up to them. You accept some some form of vulnerability and with that trust comes respect. How can I be expected to trust someone who I don't even respect? If you haven't already guessed, I don't trust people too easily. Don't get me wrong, I am normally very friendly and I'm not some kind of ice queen or anything, I'm just careful as to who I trust and who I surround myself with.

Now you might be thinking something along the lines of "oh c'mon Jess it's just a gym class" and maybe it's possible that I'm overreacting a bit. It's just that all I could think about in that class (which I didn't even choose to be in [by the way]) while Ferro was giving his little speech was that I can't make myself like and trust someone that I can't stand. There is a reason why this person doesn't have my trust in the first place. Ferro kept talking about activities like trust falls or things where we would pretend that we were in the Amazon and have to work together to get out alive (Yeah that part sounds a bit cheesy, I know). Trust falls with this person? God, I think not. As far as the whole jungle thing goes though, ironically there are no rules in the jungle.There are no obligations of society and its moral values. Ha! can you imagine if I was in the jungle with her? I can see it now.. an episode of high school survivor.... just kidding =P. Interesting concept though, isn't it? Ever wonder what would happen if we were all placed within a jungle? hehe I just thought of the GN'R song "welcome to the jungle".. thats going to be stuck in my head for awhile..... anywho...

Hopefully this class doesn't cause any major turmoil and the quarter passes by smooth and peacefully. That would be very nice. Actually... you know what would be just swell? If I could get out of that class! because quite frankly I am incapable of "learning to trust" a certain someone. Maybe other people in the class, sure... but not in this case. However in spite of it all I did actually have some fun with Alex when I wasn't focused on all of this. I guess we'll just have to see how it goes in the future. Until a later date...
P.S. I like this green background better.. much more relaxing... I hate pink

writing just to write

Hello there. Well I'm assuming you have noticed the new color scheme.. its unusually pink and I'm not really sure if I like it yet. You how pink isn't really me and all. You might see it green soon... or maybe different entirely. Thats probably the thing I like least about blogspot.. its layout variety is very limited unfortunately. Well lets see here.. what can I fill you in on in the life of Jess? AP tests are finally over thank goodness, so is the concert, and NYSSMA, oh and my shins feel great. So slowly but surely my life has been de-stressing a bit (I think I just made up a word).

So Friday night was junior prom and I had fun. I was just so tired and in dire need of a nap. Also I am a firm believer that they need to get a better variety of music at proms. You know I'm not a fan of rap... but rap isn't the only thing you can dance to. I've been to parties and weddings where they virtually play no rap and still everyone dances and has fun. So I'm not saying get rid of it ALL.. just a bit more variety puh-leez. Everyone looked great at prom and I have to thank Alex for helping shoo away some pesky, hot pink, chattering.. people from me. Thank you Alex =). I just think that some people can't take a hint. Or maybe its that they are too ignorant and self-centered to accept it. Its like even if you blatantly shove the truth down someones throat they refuse to swallow it. That didn't sound very nice.. sorry if I gave you a bad image. But please... I'm trying to be civil, just take the hint and stay away from me.

Yesterday I got my long awaited sleep, a whole day of it in fact (thank goodness). Just a side note: The song "Lullabye" by Billy Joel is amazing and has been in my head for a week now. I got up early and watched a hockey game.. and saw some old friends which was nice. I'm really going to miss playing with them.. and seeing them too. Seems as if everyone is off to college these days =(. So after I came home and slept. Also I hope the trip to Dorney Park was nice for anyone who went =).

Today I spent most of the day writing. It was beautiful out so I decided to take the laptop outside and type away. I wrote for a good two hours and got around five chapters done. I guess I'll announce that: I have decided to and currently am writing a novel. I'll probably be done with it by the end of summer so what I'm going to do is post it here on blogspot if you're interested in reading it then. It's kind of my way of venting and relaxing and trying to figure out things in my life right now by telling a story. I'm just having trouble making a title... I'm so bad at titles. Oh and I can't disclose what the novel is about until I'm done writing it. [My Dad keeps asking when I hijack his laptop hehe ].

This entry just keeps getting more random by the minute. So I think I'm going to stop. I think I've reached my writing quota for the day.

Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday.. and I had a pretty good day. I'm not a big party kind of girl that wants a whole lot of attention on her birthday but my parents threw a small party for family. I had NYSSMA in the morning and then helped out at the school for awhile I was assigned one of the all-state string rooms so I was able to listen to some very talented string players. I'm so jealous =P. I wish I could play like that. I've decided that sometime in my life I am going to learn to play the cello. I don't know when exactly but I'm going to. I can officially say that being 17 feels no different than 16 except for the fact thats its strange to say I'm 17. Seems as if time has just flown by.. like just yesterday I was a little kid. This week has been so stressful between school, track meet, an ap test, all-state/nyssma, my birthday, and mothers day. I kind of just want to crawl into a warm dark place and sleep for the next millenium. It's mothers day today and we went out for lunch. I was practically falling asleep at the table. I need to sleep but I just have so many things on my mind right now that I can't really relax. I guess I just get certain ideas and thoughts trapped in my head and they get stuck there irking me whenever they get the chance. Sometimes I wish I could just relax and give my brain a rest. Thats what I should've used my birthday wish for. You know, I didn't make a birthday wish. I can never thing of a real meaningful one. And if I could pick one wish.. it's one that probably won't come true. Seems as if there are two paths I can take. The first one is a little clearer and I can see where it leads for a little while.. but then it gets cloudy and I don't know where it leads. The second path.. I don't even know if it is a path.. more like a newly uncovered path, but I don't know where it leads or where it ends. There has been a long road that I have been on for a awhile that leads to the second path... one that I've had my heart set on. I would only have to hear a few words to know if it was right. God, this must not be making any sense to you whatsoever. Sorry if your confused.. I am too. I'm looking asking myself questions that I probably wont get answers to anytime soon. Oh well, we're all going out to dinner a bit later at some place I've never heard of. But before I go I wanted to put the poem that was in the birthday card from my parents on here:

"If you can value truth above approval,
and friendship over beauty, wealth, or fame,
If you can share your gifts and talents wisely,
leaving someone better off than when you came...
If you find happiness in simple pleasures,
and see the rainbow, not the falling rain,
If you have faith to keep right on believing
in miracles that no one can explain,
If you look until you see the good in others
and keep your spirit honest, true, and free,
Then you'll be, not just happy and successful,
but the woman only you were meant to be.
If you could see all the flowers in the world,
If you could hear all the laughter in the universe,
If you could make all the dreams that were ever wished come true,
Then you would know a little part of the joy
of having and loving a daughter like you."

My litte Maggie

Good afternoon =P. Today has been so slow moving since I got home before. This morning I went to go see ironman in the movies with my family and I feel obligated to say... It was freaking AWESOME. I wasn't expecting it to be so good but it had a decent story line, great special effects, and yeah.. it was overall just a good movie. I'm really glad to finally have the day off from track. After three days in a row of track meets I'm kind of physically drained. As much as I hate to admit it; my shins need a rest. I really hate having injuries, they make me feel handicapped and extremely annoyed. St. Anthony's was pretty nice though, the school itself I mean, as far as weather goes... that sucked.

After the movies and lunch I came back home and have been here for awhile. I've been looking after Maggie. For those of you who don't know this already, Maggie is my almost-a-year-old black and white tuxedo cat. She's very affectionate, energetic, abnormally clumsy, and enjoys being mischevious. She's also "my little tag-along" who follows me wherever I go. Usually she's very lively, trilling when you pet her, and usually purring very loudly. Right now she's sick... and she has been since yesterday. She wasn't acting like herself and then she disappeared for awhile and we couldn't find her. I guess she was sleeping somewhere in the house because she doesn't go outside, but she didn't come when I called her which is unlike her. I found her before and she had a really high fever and was wheezing. Also she injured her foot somehow. I've been upstairs with her for awhile now. I gave her some medicine and her fever has went down a little. I want her to feel better and I want to help. One of the reasons I'd really like to become a vet someday. Sometimes I can't picture myself as anything else.

Her being sick is making me really nervous and I don't really want to leave the room. I know nothing drastic will happen... but I guess I'm just a little protective. She's just... she's more than a cat to me. She's part of the family, she's a friend.. Mag is almost like a child. Whenever I'm sick or upset she's always right there by my side to cheer me up (usually by purring obnoxiously in my face =P). I want to look after her and make sure she gets better. You know when you just seem to bond with someone? Whether it be another person, or a dog, or an animal? Well Maggie bonded with me.. I'm the one person in our house she kind of claimed for herself. I'm hers, she's mine; thats just how it works. She found us at a time where everyone was really frantic and freaked out. My older brother had gone on a trip and while he was on his trip he had an emergency and had to go to the hospital. There was a problem with his heart and he had gotten some kind of infection. It was scary because they didn't really know what caused it. My parents had to leave and go to him while my little brother and I stayed home. That's when Maggie came to us, and helped to make the situation a bit easier. She's been an angel ever since.. with her occasional fits of clumsiness. She's a sweetheart and doesn't have a mean bone in her body. I want her to get better... and soon.