Like Dynamite Near a Flame

Well I figured it was time to write again.. plus I blogged on paper during my math class on thursday and figured I would post it here to vent. Wednesday had been going pretty smoothly up until about the middle of ninth period english. It seems as if things always start to go downhill by the time english comes around. Figures. Halfway through the period, after listening to Sorrentino vivaciously read Macbeth's part aloud for 25 minutes, two girls from my track team burst into the room and breathlessly tell me that the bus is waiting for me to leave for divisionals. My first response to that was "... WHAT?!" 1) No-one had informed me that we were leaving school early. 2) I wasn't changed nor had any of my stuff. I had seen at least half of the track team during the course of the day and not one of them said anything about it to me. So, naturally, when a select few members gave me an attitude about it, I was livid. Not to mention that on Tuesday, our day off, I showed up to a practice at 8 in the morning only to find out that there was no coach there and that it was cancelled.

So after a bus ride where I blasted music on my ipod and stared out the window, we arrived at Connetquot High School. I got changed there and I felt a little sick to my stomach for some reason. Then I had to sit around and do pretty much nothing for five hours because the 4x400 relay was at 7'oclock at night. To make things worse, when I actually did run I wasn't happy with my performance. I was 3 seconds off from my best time and we didn't make it back for finals. I didn't want to end the season like that. After divisionals we went to McDonalds (which I didn't even want in the first place). While we were at McDonalds my cell phone got stolen. I frantically searched around the restaurant for it, called it with Alex's cell phone, and finally realized that somebody must have taken it. They kept clicking "ignore" when I called. I hadn't flipped out in awhile.. and I called the phone again, enraged, and left a vindictive/furious voicemail on MY OWN phone. Then I deactivated it and hoped that by some off-chance it would explode in the hand of the person who stole it. I felt bad enough about it already by the time I go home, yet I got scolded for being irresponsible by my parents.

So Wednesday sucked and Thursday wasn't much better. I have a terrible temper lately. Normally I'm very laid back and don't let things bother me too easily, but my fuse keeps getting shorter and shorter. I am a time bomb, ticking away, threatening to explode at any given moment. I'm like a glass thermometer, with the fiery mercury rising ever-so-slightly, higher and higher until the glass is on the verge of cracking; or worse, shattering. I can't really explain why I'm so stressed out lately, but I don't like this at all. It could be because people keep pushing my buttons, bugging me and then acting shocked when I lose my temper. Or mistake me trying to control my temper as giving them an attitude. That drives me crazy. *bangs head against keyboard* Or it could be because of certain people I dislike trying to make everyone's lives a living hell. Or it could be because someone acts differently behind my back and she has the nerve to try and move in where she has no business. Or maybe I just want to sleep in my own comfortable bed again. In either case, I don't like feeling stressed out. I have knots in my back, I'm not sleeping well, and I want things to go back to normal.