Project Adventure ... or Project Catastrophe?

I just got home from a light track practice and a pretty decent monday back at school. In most of my classes we did nothing.. or nothing important anyway. The only meaningful thing was taking a spanish test.. and that was even a bit of a joke. Looks like I'm going to be busy for a few nights this week. I want to go see the concert on Thursday and watch Kevin in jazz band =) It's always fun to watch jazz band. The pops concert is coming up in a little bit.. and I'm still not really sure what's going on with that as far as what I'm doing with other people. I gotta get on that I guess. Oh and just to put it out there.. does anyone know the date of the academic awards? I'm sure I've asked one person or another but I've completely forgotten.

So coming to the topic I have deemed worthy of today's blog: Today I had my first "Project Adventure" experience during Ferro's 7th period gym class, and might I add: That man still gives me the creeps. I can just hear his smarmy little voice calling out "Hey Jessie-girl" *shudders* So anyway back to project adventure.. or as Brandon referred to it before "Adventure Camp" lol =). We have a small class with approximately 12 people. I know mostly everyone in the class. There are three that I'm not really familiar with, and there is also one I strongly dislike (which is probably the main reason why I'm less than thrilled to be in the class). All I need is to have to deal with someone I can't stand on a day to day basis.

A the start of the class our beloved teacher started talking about how the course is designed to help the students work together as a team. The purpose is to cooperate and learn how to trust the people within your class. He was saying how you could hate someone during school and not get along at all, but that for the 40 minutes of the class you will learn to trust them. I hate to disagree with you Ferro, or sound a bit narrow-minded, but your class will make no difference on this matter. No sir, nothing changes behind the doors of the wrestling room. I am still the person I always have been, still maintain my values, and still have the same feelings towards certain people that I did before. The walls of a padded school athletics room can't block out the past.. or bad personality flaws for that matter.

Yes, I am aware that I sound a wee bit stubborn and like I'm holding a grudge, but I'm only human here ( and I'm a bit Taurean too =P). And the truth is; I'm not holding a grudge anymore. The past is the past, and what's done is done. I just don't like her and it's as simple as that. I never have and I can safely say that I probably never will. I don't like the person she is, her values, how she acts, and how she treats people (yes plural people) that I care about. I see right through it all. Sure I will try my best to be civil, and cordial, and I will possess the manners that I would show to any human being. But we're not talking about social niceties and etiquette right now. We are talking about trust.

Trust is a special thing, not something just given out on a whim to anyone and their mother. Would you give your trust to a random bum on the street? No, of course not. Trust is something that must be earned, and to gain trust you must prove yourself worthy of it. Once you give your trust to someone, you begin to open yourself up to them. You accept some some form of vulnerability and with that trust comes respect. How can I be expected to trust someone who I don't even respect? If you haven't already guessed, I don't trust people too easily. Don't get me wrong, I am normally very friendly and I'm not some kind of ice queen or anything, I'm just careful as to who I trust and who I surround myself with.

Now you might be thinking something along the lines of "oh c'mon Jess it's just a gym class" and maybe it's possible that I'm overreacting a bit. It's just that all I could think about in that class (which I didn't even choose to be in [by the way]) while Ferro was giving his little speech was that I can't make myself like and trust someone that I can't stand. There is a reason why this person doesn't have my trust in the first place. Ferro kept talking about activities like trust falls or things where we would pretend that we were in the Amazon and have to work together to get out alive (Yeah that part sounds a bit cheesy, I know). Trust falls with this person? God, I think not. As far as the whole jungle thing goes though, ironically there are no rules in the jungle.There are no obligations of society and its moral values. Ha! can you imagine if I was in the jungle with her? I can see it now.. an episode of high school survivor.... just kidding =P. Interesting concept though, isn't it? Ever wonder what would happen if we were all placed within a jungle? hehe I just thought of the GN'R song "welcome to the jungle".. thats going to be stuck in my head for awhile..... anywho...

Hopefully this class doesn't cause any major turmoil and the quarter passes by smooth and peacefully. That would be very nice. Actually... you know what would be just swell? If I could get out of that class! because quite frankly I am incapable of "learning to trust" a certain someone. Maybe other people in the class, sure... but not in this case. However in spite of it all I did actually have some fun with Alex when I wasn't focused on all of this. I guess we'll just have to see how it goes in the future. Until a later date...
P.S. I like this green background better.. much more relaxing... I hate pink