Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday.. and I had a pretty good day. I'm not a big party kind of girl that wants a whole lot of attention on her birthday but my parents threw a small party for family. I had NYSSMA in the morning and then helped out at the school for awhile I was assigned one of the all-state string rooms so I was able to listen to some very talented string players. I'm so jealous =P. I wish I could play like that. I've decided that sometime in my life I am going to learn to play the cello. I don't know when exactly but I'm going to. I can officially say that being 17 feels no different than 16 except for the fact thats its strange to say I'm 17. Seems as if time has just flown by.. like just yesterday I was a little kid. This week has been so stressful between school, track meet, an ap test, all-state/nyssma, my birthday, and mothers day. I kind of just want to crawl into a warm dark place and sleep for the next millenium. It's mothers day today and we went out for lunch. I was practically falling asleep at the table. I need to sleep but I just have so many things on my mind right now that I can't really relax. I guess I just get certain ideas and thoughts trapped in my head and they get stuck there irking me whenever they get the chance. Sometimes I wish I could just relax and give my brain a rest. Thats what I should've used my birthday wish for. You know, I didn't make a birthday wish. I can never thing of a real meaningful one. And if I could pick one wish.. it's one that probably won't come true. Seems as if there are two paths I can take. The first one is a little clearer and I can see where it leads for a little while.. but then it gets cloudy and I don't know where it leads. The second path.. I don't even know if it is a path.. more like a newly uncovered path, but I don't know where it leads or where it ends. There has been a long road that I have been on for a awhile that leads to the second path... one that I've had my heart set on. I would only have to hear a few words to know if it was right. God, this must not be making any sense to you whatsoever. Sorry if your confused.. I am too. I'm looking asking myself questions that I probably wont get answers to anytime soon. Oh well, we're all going out to dinner a bit later at some place I've never heard of. But before I go I wanted to put the poem that was in the birthday card from my parents on here:

"If you can value truth above approval,
and friendship over beauty, wealth, or fame,
If you can share your gifts and talents wisely,
leaving someone better off than when you came...
If you find happiness in simple pleasures,
and see the rainbow, not the falling rain,
If you have faith to keep right on believing
in miracles that no one can explain,
If you look until you see the good in others
and keep your spirit honest, true, and free,
Then you'll be, not just happy and successful,
but the woman only you were meant to be.
If you could see all the flowers in the world,
If you could hear all the laughter in the universe,
If you could make all the dreams that were ever wished come true,
Then you would know a little part of the joy
of having and loving a daughter like you."