Carry On

Right now it's 9:48 but it feels like it's after midnight to me. I took the laptop on my bed and Todd is sleeping about 7 inches from my leg. I had to bathe him yet again today and Maggie too. Those damn fleas are relentless... they should be banished off the face of the planet. I can't believe summer is almost over and we're going back to school soon. I really need to finish up the AP work but I dread having to read "A confederacy of Dunces." I actually sat down and made a strenuous effort to read it before, that is before I became completely disgusted and had to stop. While I read I realized that Ignatius (the main character) has a strong resemblance to someone I encountered recently. This was someone I had known of before a two weekends ago but hadn't really talked to him much... and then to my misfortune I was obligated to entertain/converse with him. Needless to say I would much rather keep my distance from both this person and Ignatius Reilley.

Last night I decided to clean out my horribly cluttered and disastrously messy closet. As some of you might know, for the past year or so I haven't permitted any of my guests to look in there. Yes, it really was that bad. My motivation for this task was to find my long lost keys, but I also wanted something to do because I had a lot on my mind. The challenge took a good 3 hours and also 3 filled garbage bags but now it looks spotlessly clean. I also cleaned my room while I was at it. It's strange to look around and see everything meticulously in place. In that respect I feel somewhat accomplished.

Sorry to keep jumping around here, but I wanted to mention a movie I saw. The night before last I sat down to watch "Becoming Jane" about the life of Jane Austen (author of Pride and Prejudice). I should also mention that the stereotypical 'chick-flicks' have been making me feel sick to my stomach lately. This movie however was different. Unlike all Jane Austen's novels, where the heroine ends up happily in love with a wealthy suitor, the life of the author was different. Unlike her heroines, Jane did not end up with the love of her life. She never married, she lived by her pen, and she became a famous author. To be completely honest, the unexpected ending was refreshing. It wasn't the romantic fantasy ending we see all the time. Instead it was real and undiluted. That's why I liked it so much.

I'm starting to wonder how many people actually read this blog. I mean, I would still write if nobody read it, but sometimes I wonder. Lately I feel a bit... left out in some ways. It's hard when you expect a situation to turn out a certain way and then it isn't all how you imagined it. I feel out of the loop and out of communication from some people. Like things are so much different now, which I guess they are. I feel almost disregarded, and forgotten, and abandoned. I know those words sound harsh but I can't find another way to describe it. I know there's probably reasons for it... what was I expecting really? Things aren't ever going to be the same. Maybe I should just get over it. Maybe I need to carry on with my own life.