Judgement Day

So I'm alive... and breathing and writing this blog. I feel alright but I couldn't say the same for myself a few hours ago. Well today was the first day of "hell week" for cross country and also many other sports. The first day is the judgement day... where it becomes clear who has been running all summer and who has not. Personally, I was a bit lazy this summer. That was due to the fact that it was pretty damn hot out and also that I pretty much hate long distance. Anyway, I won't make more excuses but I feel like writing about what goes on inside my head during hell week (and also races during the season).

Unlike track, where I can use bursts of speed for up to 400m or even 600m and there really isn't any prolonged pain, long distance for me is agony. I'm not built for that.. I'm built for mid-distance sprinting. During track my mind goes fast thinking things like... Faster. Pump Arms. On toes. Accelerate. Finish line. But cross country.. oh no. It's not a fast thought process with rushed ideas. You are given all the time in the world to think.. and that's where my negativity shines through. My mind is pretty much: Okay I'm getting kind of tired now. Oh! Theres a cramp in my side. Take deeper breaths. Keep on going. Keep those feet moving. Ten to fifteen minutes later... *gasps for air* I can't breathe. My shins are killing me. Every step is making my leg throb. How much longer do we have to do this for?! Another 20 minutes?!... do me a favor and kill me now! Why am I even doing this? You can just stop running you know... no one will like you any less. God I hate this sport. I CAN'T do this dammit! Why should I keep on going? Because I love running.... yep, that's it, I love running... I love to run.. and running... love to...

And tomorrow I will go back again. Maybe if I drill "I love running" into my head enough I might actually start to believe it. This sport tests your body as well as your will power... did I meantion your sanity? I cannot wait until hell week is over. On a brighter note: I got a new haircut! It's a lot shorter than it was, thank goodness, and my curls are back =]. I also decided to get sidebangs and it turns out I love them. I never thought I'd have bangs again after the third grade. It's a cute/fun haircut... good for rocking out to music with (especially when playing guitar hero --> which my parents got a laugh out of). Oh and my day after XC has been pretty nice so far. I ate lunch, took a shower while listening to some fun music, and napped. Yay for napping!

On that note I'll close. Until next time <3